Fox Searchlight Asks Everyone To Send In Their DVD Copies Of ‘Juno’ So They Can Update Ellen Page’s Name

CENTURY CITY, CA — Fox Searchlight Pictures is asking its customers to return copies of its 2007 sleeper hit Juno after it was discovered that old DVD copies falsely attribute the starring role to an Ellen Page, who sources say has never existed. Beloved male actor Elliot Page, the movie’s actual star, has voiced support for the corporation’s motion picture buyback program.

“While preparing updated copy for the film’s fifteenth anniversary remaster we discovered that the original DVD release has an unfortunate typo,” said Marketing Director Dorothy Pennypepper. “Elliot Page is a remarkable male actor who is a man. It turns out a lot of his old work is miscredited for some reason. It’s embarrassing.”

Reporters investigated Pennypepper’s claims and discovered corroborating evidence that Elliot Page has been miscredited on every film he worked on before 2021. Most famously, he was again miscredited as “Ellen” in Hollywood blockbuster Inception, in which he plays a strong and confident man who designs dream worlds.

Customers who mail in their DVDs for modification will also be given a tiny mustache sticker to place over Juno’s face.

Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He’s doing his best to keep his chin up.

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