SEATTLE, WA — According to sources, a local woman who calls unborn babies “parasites” has condemned pro-life people for being inhumane.
“Pro-lifers are so awful and gross,” said Minx Wegner while holding a sign reading “flush your fetus down the toilet” and twerking at a local protest for reproductive rights. “How could they be so inhumane to women? Imagine stripping humanity from another human being like that! What a bunch of creeps!”
Sources say Wegner has had 5 abortions and recently scheduled a sixth one to prevent a local pro-life couple from adopting it. The local Planned Parenthood confirmed they will then compassionately sell the baby’s body parts to the NIH for experimentation.
“Imagine being such a Nazi that you dehumanize someone else and brush them aside like they’re nothing!” Wegner continued. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to flush out this nasty little parasite.”
Sources also confirmed Wegner had condemned people who oppose gender surgery for children as “anti-science.”
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He’s doing his best to keep his chin up.
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