WASHINGTON, D.C. — NASA’s James Webb space telescope team has unveiled the farthest and most massive image of deep space ever captured. In light of the success of the program, NASA has announced they will be developing an even larger space telescope to capture a photograph of your mom.
“James Webb was impressive, but it’s still inadequate to capture the breathtaking expanse of your mom,” said project manager Bill Ochs. “This will be an unprecedented challenge for us because we’re not sure our solar system is even large enough for the kind of telescope required to get a photo of your mom. Because she’s so fat.”
Already NASA has sent out scientists to buy up all the hard-drive space on the planet to hold a photo with that many megapixels. They are also gathering up all the gold-plated beryllium in the entire solar system, as that is how much would be required to make a telescope able to handle a photograph of such an impossible magnitude.
“We aren’t even sure this can be done, but NASA is about exploring new frontiers,” said Ochs, “frontiers — of your mom.”
At publishing time, NASA scientists also announced they are developing a warp drive in hopes of sending space travelers to see the other side of your mom.
A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
In a collaboration with The Babylon Bee, Professor Gorb McStevens lists all the countries where communism hasn’t turned into a totalitarian hellscape where you have to eat your dog.
Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube
Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
Comments are closed.