WASHINGTON, D.C. — NASA’s James Webb space telescope team has unveiled the farthest and most massive image of deep space ever captured. In light of the success of the program, NASA has announced they will be developing an even larger space telescope to capture a photograph of your mom.
“James Webb was impressive, but it’s still inadequate to capture the breathtaking expanse of your mom,” said project manager Bill Ochs. “This will be an unprecedented challenge for us because we’re not sure our solar system is even large enough for the kind of telescope required to get a photo of your mom. Because she’s so fat.”
Already NASA has sent out scientists to buy up all the hard-drive space on the planet to hold a photo with that many megapixels. They are also gathering up all the gold-plated beryllium in the entire solar system, as that is how much would be required to make a telescope able to handle a photograph of such an impossible magnitude.
“We aren’t even sure this can be done, but NASA is about exploring new frontiers,” said Ochs, “frontiers — of your mom.”
At publishing time, NASA scientists also announced they are developing a warp drive in hopes of sending space travelers to see the other side of your mom.
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