Jesus' Coming Back

Restaurants add option to tip server’s entire salary

TORONTO – In a bold new move, restaurants are adding the option to tip your server’s whole salary. After successful tipping increases to 20% and even 30%, business owners decided to keep it going and externalize all their labour costs.

“Employing waiters is annoying and expensive, but customers keep expecting to be served,” says BBQ restaurant owner, Bill Bunch. “As far as I’m concerned, if people are so hell-bent on having their food arrive at their table, they should be willing to pay for it.”

While some establishments feel the 100% wage tip is reasonable, others say it doesn’t go far enough. Macy Moon, owner of The Quesadilla Wagon, says the whole wage movement is about more than just net income. 

“My restaurant will be adding a tip prompt for server pension,” says Moon. “If patrons can afford to force a poor student to schlep sizzling hot fajitas across a crowded dining room, surely they can afford to consider his long-term security.”

Veteran waitress Britney Picard says she believes her employers are copping out. 

“My customers are usually happy to tip, but these increases are too much,” says Picard. “That said, my son does need braces. So if people wanted to consider tipping for dental expenses, I wouldn’t object. Those puppies are $5,000. And speaking of puppies, mine has ringworm. So. Give generously.”

Restaurant owners expect to complete the tipping transition within the year. Options will vary depending on the establishment, but customers should be prepared to cover stress leaves, top up maternity benefits and participate in RRSP contribution matching programs.

Beaverton

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