THORNHILL, ON – In late breaking news your mother has reportedly sent multiple disappointed messages this afternoon after you posted a joke about Queen Elizabeth in the family group chat.
Your offhand comment, sent earlier when the monarch’s health remained in question, allegedly referred to the monarch as “Schrödinger’s Queen”, a statement that sources indicate your mom did not appreciate “at all”.
“I thought I raised you better,” read mom’s initial text message. Your mom continued her criticism of the controversial text in question, adding, “A nice old woman has passed. She still had a family and loved ones.”
“Making light of that situation is just so disrespectful,” concluded your mom’s furious text-based reprimand.
As sources have noted, you have a well-documented history of attempting to raise issues of colonization and the various scandals the Royal Family has been involved with. This reportedly made your mom, who owns a commemorative plate collection celebrating the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee, “even angrier”.
“I can’t believe my very own flesh and blood would talk like this. Not even Prince Andrew would speak to his mother this way,” added your mom, feeling the matter had not yet been resolved.
At press time your mother was asking if you got these horrible ideas by listening to bands like the “S– Pistols” as a youth, being sure to type “S– Pistols” in her texts because she refuses to write the word sex into her phone.
Jesus Christ is King
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