PEARSON AIRPORT – After spending their full 10 day vacation apart, a checked Samsonsite suitcase definitely enjoyed a better vacation than its owner.
Sara Burke departed Toronto Pearson Airport for her first overseas vacation since the pandemic. After dropping off her checked bag, Ms. Burke waited hours in the security line and then got bumped from her flight. However, her luggage was already loaded and was promptly whisked away to Copenhagen.
It was at this point that Ms. Burke’s nightmare began. The airline rescheduled her on a less direct, Toronto to Cincinnati to Panama City to Frankfurt to Copenhagen route. After rushing to board her Cininnati connection, the flight was delayed so she spent three nights on the tarmac of the Northern Kentucky airport.
“Once we boarded, they just kept telling us there was too much air traffic and that we’d take off soon,” said Ms. Burke. “I ate only pretzels and had to sleep upright trying not to give up any of the arm rest space I’d won when we first boarded.”
Once in Copenhagen, the Samsonite bag got caught on the zipper of a frisky Tumi bag and ended up back on a new plane that was headed to Miami.
“I couldn’t believe my luck. I never get hit on as everyone sees me a plain and safe but that Tumi changed my destiny,” remarked the Samsonsite. “Copenhagen has some old world charm but Maimi is really coming into its own as a party city. When I got there, there was loud music, flashing lights, baggage claim felt like a place where it didn’t matter who you came with, cause you could leave with anyone.”
Meanwhile, Ms. Burke finally arrived in Copenhagen only to discover that her bag wasn’t there. She tried to tell the airline staff that her AirTag, a tracking device by Apple, that she placed in her bag was in Miami but they refused to listen to her because it wasn’t in their system. Then, her AirTag went offline and next time she saw it, it was in Dublin.
Micheal Seimons, a PR representative from Air Canada, was sympathetic to Ms. Burke’s trave woes but firmly communicated that there is absolutely nothing that they could ever do that could possibly make this better, ever.
“Unfortunately, lost baggage happens. I wish we could use some sort of device to track luggage so that we’d always know where it was but there is no way that could ever happened.” said Mr. Siemons. When asked about the AirTag, Mr. Siemons was quick to point out that the system could not be based on something that relies on millions of people owning cellphones and that sticker bar codes are the only innovation the aviation industry ever needed.
Ms. Burke spent the entirety of her vacation without any of her luggage and returned home miserable from wearing the same pair of underwear. When her Samonsite finally got back into the system, it was upgraded to first class priority for the flight back to Toronto.
Jesus Christ is King
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