Jesus' Coming Back

Pierre Poilievre hopes to inspire future generations of kids who carry briefcases in high school to enter politics

OTTAWA – Adapting to his role as Conservative Party Leader, is hoping to use his position not just to advocate for his positions but to inspire future generations of kids who come to with their work in a briefcase to enter .

“Our movement is about so much more than just me,” said Poilievre. “It’s about that little boy coming to school with a sneer on his face and his math homework in a briefcase that his wealthy parents bought him, finally seeing somebody that looks like him in a position of power.”

“Especially ones who had the briefcase monogrammed with their own initials on it!”

The ‘carry to school’ demo is not a large one, and has not seen much representation in the halls of power since Paul Martin resigned. But that is not the only community to which Poilievre is hoping to provide representation. He also hopes to inspire the ‘just playing devil’s advocate’ guys, the ‘Presidents of the stock trading club’ and the ‘students who refuse to throw out their lunch because that’s what the Janitor is for’ group.

“With our determination and the power of speeches we write with the mont blanc pen we keep for special occasions in the briefcase, we will finally rid Canada of rule by the jocks, theatre kids and environmental club leaders!” said Poilievre.

Poilievre then ended the interview so he could eat a Fruit By The Foot that he keeps in his briefcase.

Beaverton

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