Top 10 Reasons People Are Still Voting For Democrats

Wondering why people actually still vote for Democrats? Believe it or not, there are still Democrat voters out there and we’ve compiled their top reasons for doing so!

1. They’re dead: Hard to object to candidates like Joe Biden when you are no longer alive!
2. They’re Drag Queens worried about losing their God-given right to dance in underwear in front of kids: It’s in The Constitution.
3. Because Bono said that’s what good people do: Listening to U2 was their first mistake.
4. Still holding out for one of those free Obama phones: An iPhone 6! NICE!
5. To convince others that they aren’t Christian Nationalists: They’re one of the “good” Christians.
6. They live in Chicago and a stray bullet punched right through the “D” side of the ballot: It happens far too often.
7. Their covid booster made them do it: Once the signal gets sent out, they have no other choice.
8. They think elections are like golf and the lowest score wins: Elections are not, in fact like golf where the lowest amount wins.
9. Their mail-in ballot was already filled out in permanent marker: Now that’s strange! Mail-in voting is the most secure kind of voting!
10. Government spending and taxes make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside: As if we know how to spend our own money. The government knows best!

Now we didn’t say these are good reasons, but now you know the top reasons why Democrats manage to still get votes.

NOT SATIRE: SUBSCRIBE TO GOOD KID PRODUCTIONS!

Do you think legacy media operations are advancing brain-dead woke narratives and ignoring stories that don’t fit neat progressive politics?

So do we. We’re Good Kid Productions, a start-up documentary channel and we’re telling the stories the establishment ignores. We’re devoted to beating back the ideological kudzu strangling the country and preserving America aka the greatest experiment in self-government in human history.

Want the inside scoop on how Harvard canceled its best black professor because he wouldn’t adhere to the woke party line? We got you.

Looking for a video brave enough to challenge the bunk “anti-racism” of Ibram X Kendi? We got you.

Want to know what could possibly be driving schools to still force kids to wear masks? We got you.

We also host an interview show with our intellectual heroes. Recent appearances include Jay Bhattacharya on his COVID blasphemy, Glenn Loury on how to be a good father, Heather Mac Donald on her street cred, Coleman Hughes on his favorite rap music, and Charles Murray on the fundamental lie of the education system.

These are the stories no one else is willing to tell, and the ideas no one else is willing to touch. Check out our channel and subscribe today.

Is your wife a true crime addict? You need to look for these warning signs:

Brought to you by Hunt a Killer, the only cure for true crime addiction. Use code KILLERBEE for $10 off your order here!
Babylon Bee