Jesus' Coming Back

NPR Revealed To Be Just One White Woman In New Hampshire Who Does All The Voices

MANCHESTER, NH – An investigation has revealed that National Public Radio (NPR), a state-funded nonprofit media organization in the United States, consists of just one white woman, Karen Atkinson, who does all the voices on NPR’s radio shows and podcasts.

“I can’t believe it’s all been the same person,” said avid NPR listener Karen McDonald. “It’s like finding out wrestling isn’t real. My morning commute will never be the same.”

A multiyear effort by a group of investigative journalists from all over the world revealed that Karen Atkinson, a 49-year-old knitting blogger, podcaster, and radio host, has been the voice of every personality in NPR production for the last 20 years. Atkinson also teaches Gender Studies and Fat Studies at Wellesley College.

“I always thought all the voices sounded the same,” said NPR listener Karen Owens. “That nasally, sort of mousy, high-pitched monotone. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised it’s all the same person. But I do feel a bit misled.”

Jeremiah Patterson, the head of the group of investigative journalists that discovered Karen’s identity, spoke to the media on Tuesday. “We first grew suspicious when we noticed that everyone on NPR sounds the exact same and thinks the exact same.”

An NPR spokesperson declined to comment. Atkinson is expected to remain in her role.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report.
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