Jesus' Coming Back

Black Friday deal just last year’s price

MISSISSAUGA – Retailers are embracing this year’s by offering consumers the deal of a lifetime, the chance to buy products at last year’s regular prices.

Naomi Hoffman eagerly awaited the drop of promotional emails from her favourite brands and received her email from Aritzia first. She was delighted to discover that everything was listed at last year’s prices. “I’ve been wanting a new coat but was putting it off cause last year it seemed so expensive when it was an insane $345,” said Naomi. “But now that it’s $345 again, this feels like a bargain I can’t resist, especially since I can easily finance it with sixteen $25 payments thanks to afterpay.”

Meanwhile her husband Martin slept over in line for Walmart. He did not want to miss out on last year’s model of an 85” ONN. TV, being offered for $988, despite only sitting six feet away from the TV in their tiny rental apartment. “Back in 2021, we didn’t know how good we had it. Like yeah, there was a pandemic but we paid less for things like our back-up cast iron pan,” proclaimed Martin as he was crushed by the crowd entering the store.

“Our TV still works but I’d rather pay $125 more than last year’s sale price than wait to see how high the price of a store-brand TV can go.”

The Retailers Council of Canada is proud of its members for providing Canadians with such a generous opportunity, according to spokesperson, Rian Jacobs. “Some have accused our members of raising prices to guage consumers. But, if they were doing that, would they providing such amazing deals in the spirit of the season?” explained Jacobs. “I think we can all agree that consumers are the reason why prices have increased and today they should buy whatever they can, because prices this low can’t last long.”

No specific retailer could be reached for comment because the crisis forced them to spend the day preparing for another price hike to offset their record profits.

Beaverton

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