LOS ANGELES – In what is just the latest of his many character reinventions, Kanye West has announced he will be formally adopting the name Yitler.
“I live my life and I live my truth. And it’s important to me to make sure my identity honours the two people I admire the most: myself and Adolf Hitler,” expounded Yitler from within the recesses of his own crumbling reality.
Insiders worry that the new moniker could be a bit of a risky gambit given the still relatively low market approval for the man who helped orchestrate the systematic murder of six million Jews and scores of other oppressed Europeans. However, upon taking a cursory glance at West/Yitler’s latest public follies, many reversed course and agreed it was “on-brand”.
“It’s important that people don’t misinterpret what I’m doing here. I don’t hate Jews!” said Yitler, “I just respect and feel a deep kinship with someone who tried to kill all of them and think others should look into all the great things he did because he was super awesome and I wish he was still here doing his thing.”
“Oh, and also I do hate Jews. That too,” he continued.
Many note that the warning signs were even more glaring, now seeing West’s traditional greeting of “How’s it going. I like Hitler,” in a new light. Yet, those close to him describe his recent fanboy obsession with the dictator as coming out of left field, believing he was just into Goering or Himmler but never Hitler.
“I do not couch this in euphemisms or dog whistles. I openly associate myself with Adolf Hitler and think he was great. I am unashamed by this statement and wish others to respect me for it. I am a sane person,” shouted the gibbering monstrosity once heralded as an icon of music.
Interestingly, those opposed to his turn to fascism are counter-intuitively encouraging his adoption of even more of Hitler’s traits, hoping that the trajectory of West’s life ends in much the same way as his idol, broken and alone in an isolated bunker somewhere.
Jesus Christ is King
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