RICHMOND, VA — The entire congregation of First Baptist Church Of Richmond is on edge this evening after it was discovered that Aiden has been allowed to hold a candle for the kid’s choir rendition of “Silent Night.”
“I can understand the childcare team wanting a break, but having parents ‘watch their own kids’ during a service that has open flames was a terrible idea. With Aiden around?? Forget about it.” Local man Geoff McMurphy sent a message communicating his worry to a group text of several other parents aware of the pastor’s “very naughty” son’s penchant for destruction.
“Aiden holding an open flame? This idea shouldn’t have made it past the first vision casting church staff meeting.”
The prospect of canceling the “spiritual flame” portion of the service had already been raised when Sally lit her hair on fire last year, but the candles have a long history at First Baptist Church Of Richmond, and the “elderly members and pyromaniac 9-year-olds” wanted the tradition retained, according to the group text we obtained.
When reached for comment, Aiden replied: “HEEheeheeheehee! FIIIIRE!”
At publishing time 12 fire departments had arrived on site to combat the resulting blaze.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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