NORTH POLE – Following weeks of speculation, two members of Santa’s prestigious team of reindeer have announced they are planning temporary resignation in order to undertake military service. The team’s manager Squirt McQuargle confirmed the rumours this week, with Blitzen, the oldest member, aiming to start the process at the end of the month.
“Military service is mandatory in the North Pole,” stated McQuargle. “All able-bodied reindeer are required to serve in the army. Donder and Blitzen would like to set an example for the entire community, and show that despite their celebrity status they are not exempt.”
The news comes following a significant bill passed by the North Pole’s governing body, The Coalition of Misfit Toys, passed a bill in 1998 allowing those with notable Christmas industry careers to defer mandatory military only until the age of 280.
“With Blitzen turning 300 this year, we have come to the conclusion that the commitment cannot reasonably be delayed any longer.” A spokes-snowman for the Coalition, Frosty O’Scarferson announced at a press conference today. “We take national security preparedness very seriously up here in the North Pole. If we let this slide, next we’ll have to excuse Yetis from service during every avalanche, and honorably discharge every toy elf with carpal tunnel syndrome. We just don’t have that in our budget.”
Santa’s Reindeer are expected to reconvene as a group in 2025, and will rely on Rudolph and Olive The Other Reindeer, the first female reindeer to hold the position of third row left, to fill the gaps in position coverage.
Manager McQuardle confirmed, “Blitzen will initiate the process as soon as his annual contract is concluded at the end of December. He will then follow the enlistment procedure of the North Pole government,” he said, adding: “Other members of the team will arrange their military service based on their own itinerary. “
The Coalition of Misfit Toys also announced recently that they were considering allowing Santa’s Reindeer to participate in some cultural exchange while serving in the military, but have yet to confirm details at time of publication.
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