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Raising a libertarian child can be tough, especially since they see your authority as totally illegitimate and say things like “AM I BEING DETAINED?” when you tell them to clean their room. If you have a libertarian kid, Christmas is a great opportunity to win them over with some perfect Christmas presents!
Here are some great gift ideas for your little libertarian:
- Guns, lots of guns: We’re starting with the easy ones here.
- A DVD Copy of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2: A cinematic masterpiece that espouses the virtues of a completely privatized police force.
- Neckbeard trimmer: This will put him at an advantage with the ladies at Libertarian conventions.
- Rand Paul Chia Pet: A favorite of libertarian children everywhere. It looks just like his real hair!
- A facemask to confuse the facial recognition cameras: Guy Fawkes masks are on sale right now.
- A copy of the classic Christmas book The Fed Who Stole Christmas: Never too early to teach them a healthy distrust of the Feds.
- Shovel: To build his own roads.
- Deodorant: He may be resistant to this at first, but he will thank you when he finally gets a girl to talk to him.
- A tiny country where they have no laws: You can designate a 1 square-foot autonomous zone in their bedroom!
- Cover his eyes, bring him out in the driveway, and tell him to open and behold his new F-15: The ultimate Christmas gift every libertarian child dreams of!
NOT SATIRE: Christmas is a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Despite having no material possessions or worldly accomplishments, Jesus has had a greater impact on the world than all the armies, navies, parliaments, and kings combined. His message of love, compassion, and forgiveness has touched the hearts of countless individuals and has the power to bring about lasting change in the world. As we celebrate this holiday season, it’s important not to get caught up in the materialism and consumerism that can sometimes overshadow the true meaning of Christmas. Remember the selfless love and sacrifice that Jesus demonstrated through His life and death.
At ExploreFlix, we value the true meaning of Christmas and strive to spread the message of love and hope through hundreds of films. We are unapologetically pro-family and pro-tradition, and we will never allow the “woke” grinches to steal the true meaning of Christmas. Join us today.
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Babylon Bee
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