New Canadian Operation Game Just Has You Murder The Patient

TORONTO — In an attempt to change with the times, toy and game manufacturer Hasbro has introduced a special edition of its popular game Operation. This new version of the game, available only in Canada, simply has players end the patient’s life immediately.

“For sure, this is a much more relatable version of the game for consumers here in Canada, eh?” said Owen Hansen, Hasbro’s Regional Operations Manager for Canada. “The way we figure, youngsters here in The Great White North don’t really need to know much about performing life-saving operations, so we’ll just have ‘em put the poor hoser out of his misery.”

As a part of the revision, there will no longer be any bones or body parts for players to remove from the patient with electronic tweezers. Instead, there will simply be one single slot in the patient’s chest into which players will insert a knife. The only way to lose the game is to not end the patient’s life within the allotted time.

“Yes, this is a much more true-to-life version of the game for kids here in Canada, unfortunately,” said author, psychologist, professor, and famous Canadian, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson. “But what are the long-term consequences of teaching children to end lives rather than attempt to save them? You think it’s a harmless game, but it’s not!”

At publishing time, Hasbro was hoping sales numbers for the new game would be high for the Christmas season, with preliminary plans to follow it up with a new Canadian version of the game Clue, in which players would simply move room to room through a mansion while performing euthanasia on other characters.

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Babylon Bee