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Florida Woman Suing Velveeta Over ‘False’ Cooking Time Claim

A Florida woman has filed suit against Velveeta alleging that the statement on its microwavable shells-and-cheese meal is false and misleading because the product takes longer to cook than the advertised three-and-a-half minutes. What do you think?

“Never file lawsuits hungry.”

Jorge Cicero, Export Agent

“This must’ve caused a lot of distress in her life if she’s willing to admit to eating Velveeta.”

Dania Parker, Lacquerer

“No one wants to be on their deathbed regretting all the time Velveeta wasted.”

Carlos Nitales, Laptop Supervisor

The Onion

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