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If you know someone who stans the almighty Meme Lord and CEO of the Boring Company Elon Musk, here are things you should never say.
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2 / 21
“It sometimes seems like he craves attention.”
“It sometimes seems like he craves attention.”
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Oh, so you’re one of those woke libtards, huh?
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3 / 21
“I totally get it. I’m obsessed with Volvo CEO Martin Lundstedt.”
“I totally get it. I’m obsessed with Volvo CEO Martin Lundstedt.”
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This will be a conversational dead end, as Lundstedt lacks Musk’s infectious charisma and je ne sais quoi.
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4 / 21
“What’s your favorite Tesla lawsuit?”
“What’s your favorite Tesla lawsuit?”
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For true stans, it’s impossible to choose between the 40-plus racial and sexual harassment cases.
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5 / 21
“He dies in the end.”
“He dies in the end.”
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You may know the end to his story, but there’s no need to ruin it for people who’ve never come to grips with the reality that he is but a man.
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6 / 21
“It’s kinda weird that he wears diapers.”
“It’s kinda weird that he wears diapers.”
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Actually, for a man like Musk, relieving himself in a diaper rather than a toilet is a far more efficient use of his valuable time.
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7 / 21
“No one who has been close to him speaks well of him.”
“No one who has been close to him speaks well of him.”
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This, however, is a trick, as no one has ever truly been close to him.
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8 / 21
“He’s not even in my top five tyrants.”
“He’s not even in my top five tyrants.”
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There’s no need to rank them.
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9 / 21
“He’s impregnated everyone else. Why not you?”
“He’s impregnated everyone else. Why not you?”
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Pointing out the obvious will just make her feel bad.
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10 / 21
“Did you know that Henry Ford also once started an automobile company?”
“Did you know that Henry Ford also once started an automobile company?”
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Implying that Elon Musk is in any way similar to anyone who existed before him is pretty much guaranteed to lead to a fistfight.
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11 / 21
“Elon Musk is going to ruin Twitter.”
“Elon Musk is going to ruin Twitter.”
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They will rightly point out that Twitter was already ruined. He will just make it worse.
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12 / 21
“Elon Musk is too funny.”
“Elon Musk is too funny.”
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Elon Musk is the perfect amount of funny, asshole.
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13 / 21
“Age of consent laws are good.”
“Age of consent laws are good.”
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Just testing something here…
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14 / 21
“Elon’s definitely coming to your birthday party.”
“Elon’s definitely coming to your birthday party.”
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Don’t give them false hope their father will acknowledge them.
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15 / 21
“As a woman, I…”
“As a woman, I…”
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The only two outcomes from saying this are a violent death threat or total dismissal of your personhood.
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16 / 21
“Please stop harassing me on Twitter.”
“Please stop harassing me on Twitter.”
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This will only make things worse.
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17 / 21
“I’m looking for podcast recommendations.”
“I’m looking for podcast recommendations.”
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Only terrors lie down this path.
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18 / 21
“Please clean your room.”
“Please clean your room.”
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Don’t be such a bitch, Mom.
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“Hi.”
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Bad idea all around.
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20 / 21
You’ve Made It This Far…
You’ve Made It This Far…
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