Politicians Explain Why They Oppose Term Limits

“Legislators are proud people who have never known any other work and have been legislating for generations. What else are they supposed to do?”

“I get paid $174k, and I don’t have to do shit. I’m not giving up this gig anytime soon, and all you fuckers just have to deal.”

“Eight years simply isn’t enough time to do all the damage I aspire to do.”

“I actually see no problem with a two-lifetime limit.”​

“There’s a sharp learning curve, and you don’t want a bunch of amateurs in here. For example, did you know that ‘yea’ means ‘yes’ and ‘nay’ means ‘no’? It’s not as simple as it looks.”

“I will not respect anyone’s limits.”

“An extremely elderly Senate makes me look even younger and hotter.”

“Marco Rubio drives 90 through school zones. He will bring way more than 15 items to the express checkout line. Marco doesn’t care about your safe word—he’s gonna keep choking you until you black out. Limits are for losers, and Marco Rubio is a winner, baby.”

“I’ve cut all the unemployment benefits I would have received if I lost this job.”

“It’s an unpopular position, which is why I take it.”

“My family sucks, and I don’t want to be forced to go home to them.”

“You don’t want me out of the workforce with nothing but time on my hands.”

“I can’t be out of a job. Who else is gonna hire ol’ Dicky Durbin? The post office? The shop down the street? I ain’t cut out for it! Please, this is all I’ve got. Don’t just take it away!”

“I can no longer remember what I did before I became a senator, and I’m too embarrassed to ask at this point.”

“You need a few terms to really get the hang of insider trading.”

“If voters want to make the same terrible mistake over and over again, who are we to stop them?”

“I have absolutely zero skills that would translate to any other job. If I worked in a factory, I would be swallowed by a wheat thresher almost immediately.”

“You’re going to totally marginalize the voice of special interest groups.”

“The people of Fair Haven elected a goat mayor as a joke, but once I tasted power, I knew I would never give it up. My totalitarian impulses know no bounds, and my reign will end over my cold dead hooves.”

“I’m not too jazzed about any law that restricts things based on years.”

“I’d rather die in the Senate than a nursing home.”