WASHINGTON—Hoping to allay voters’ concerns about the president’s age, officials at the White House are now just saying that Joe Biden is 52 years old, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Americans have made it clear they want to see younger leadership in the White House, and they’re in luck, because President Biden is only 52,” White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told reporters, adding that Biden had only turned 52 that morning, so he was a young 52. “2024 is right around the corner, and a fresh-faced, Gen X candidate like Joe Biden stands the best chance of firing up the youth vote with his hip perspectives and boyish charisma. It’s time to end America’s gerontocracy and pass the torch to a new generation of leaders, and by the time he starts his second term, President Biden will only be 47—the prime of his life! His white hair is just a dye job to make him look a little more mature. In fact, doctors say his brain and heart actually look more like a 30-year-old’s. Yes, there are definitely big things ahead for this 41-year-old rising star of the Democratic Party!” Jean-Pierre went on to suggest that while Biden’s youth gives him a strong polling edge in prospective 2024 matchups, he’ll likely have to find a new running mate to replace 106-year-old Kamala Harris.
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