Man At Gym Listening To Pump-Up Playlist To Get Courage To Take Off Shirt In Locker Room

BOSTON—Putting his headphones over his ears and taking a deep breath, local man Dalton Griffith was reportedly listening to his pump-up playlist at the gym Friday to get the courage to take off his shirt in the locker room. “I got this,” said Griffith, who turned up the volume on the DMX song from his carefully curated gym locker room mix, feeling the adrenaline course through his veins as he prepared for the grueling challenge that awaited him. “This might hurt, but I have to remember it will all be worth it in the end. It’s time to get tough. No pain, no gain. I’m going to lift this shirt if it’s the last thing I ever do. Let’s fucking go!” At press time, a defeated Griffith was seen on the elliptical machine still wearing his button-up shirt.

The Onion

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