Jesus' Coming Back

Kevin McCarthy Elected House Speaker After 15 Rounds Of Voting

Republican Kevin McCarthy was elected House speaker on a historic post-midnight 15th ballot early Saturday, after making extensive concessions to right-wing hardliners that raised questions about the party’s ability to govern. What do you think?

“Who knew the party that tried to overthrow the government would be so bad at government?”

Carlos Rollins, Tree Debarker

“Damn, I bet the over.”

Jasper Shimoma, Acoustics Expert

“Any more rounds and this would’ve turned embarrassing.”

Beatrix Wallace, Sex Toy Advocate

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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