ST. PAUL, MN — Sources are reporting that local man Verp Winston, who was mocked by friends for raising chickens in his backyard, is having the last laugh as egg prices have skyrocketed across the country.
“You all thought I was such a dork for spending all my savings on a chicken coop and buying all these birds and giving them all names like Rita, Barbie, and Mr. Cluckington,” said Winston as he counted his eggs for the day while wearing his giant straw hat and rubber boots he purchased for chicken farming. “Who’s laughing now, chumps? BAHAHAHAHA!”
Sources say friends and neighbors have come from miles around for the chance at acquiring just one precious egg, or at least catching a glimpse of Winston’s chickens so they can look on with longing and jealously. “Eggs are scarce in this land,” said local woman Fran Crugg, who lives down the street. “Winston is now the most eligible bachelor for miles. All the women want him.”
At publishing time, Winston reported his chickens had yielded over $35,000 worth of eggs last month, which roughly translates to about 14 eggs. The IRS later reported he now owes $123,700 in taxes from unclaimed egg revenue.
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Babylon Bee
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