Dr. Scholl’s Increases Brand Awareness By Planting Products In Customers’ Purses And Claiming They Stole It

CHICAGO—In an effort to boost brand awareness among crucial demographic groups, Dr. Scholl’s confirmed Thursday that they would start planting their foot care products in customers’ bags and just claiming they stole it. “What we hope to do is casually drop our gel inserts and orthotics into a customer’s purse and then tell the nearest employee that we might’ve seen them pocket something,” said company spokesman William Huntsman, admitting that loudly exclaiming “Hey, you can’t just take that Dr. Scholl’s insole!” to a flustered shopper had more potential than advertisements, billboards, or word of mouth to convince customers that such products were highly desirable. “Seeing someone get tackled to the ground by a security guard over a Hot And Cold Foot Massage Ball that magically appeared in their backpack? That’s going to stay in a consumer’s mind for years—maybe even decades. It suggests that this person was driven so mad by the desire to acquire our foot-based pain relief products that they were willing to risk life and limb. It’s really the perfect strategy.” Huntsman added that he also envisioned potential sales from telling the individual that they wouldn’t call the cops if they just bought the Dr. Scholl’s product.

The Onion