Black Woman Doesn’t Want To Admit She Actually Does Know Random Other Black Woman Coworker Brought Up

KANSAS CITY, MO—Attempting to keep a straight face amidst an awkward racial faux pas, local Black woman Imani Coleman reportedly didn’t want to admit that she actually did know the random other Black woman her coworker asked her about Monday. “It’s really frustrating, since I know he only brought up Vanessa because he assumes I’m Black and she’s Black, so we must have some kind of connection—but in this case, I really do know her,” said Coleman, adding that she could not bring herself to acknowledge the truth to her coworker, who, by accident and despite his complete ignorance of the situation, had been correct when he stated that the two Black women must be acquainted. “That’s a totally racist assumption to make, so I can’t give this guy the satisfaction of knowing that Vanessa and I have, in fact, been close friends for years. She goes to my church, and we see each other all the time. We’re cousins, actually, and to be honest, we do kind of look alike, so I can’t even call people out when they get the two of us confused. Goddamn it.” At press time, sources confirmed Coleman had grown even more frustrated when her coworker, relying on another tired stereotype, managed to accurately guess that she had grown up without a father.

The Onion