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Husband Pledges To Stay Sober For 1 Or 2 Weeks While Wife Pregnant

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ANN ARBOR, MI—Wanting to provide his wife with the support she needed during this time, father-to-be Trey McCaffrey told reporters Monday that he had pledged to stay sober for one or two weeks while his wife was pregnant. “If my wife isn’t going to drink for nine months, then as a show of solidarity I’m going to abstain from alcohol too for maybe 10 days or so,” said McCaffrey, adding that he would do anything for his wife and future child, even if it meant he couldn’t drink or smoke weed for up to 5% of the time that she would also be refraining from these substances. “I want to do what’s best for the family we’re making together, and how hard is it to go a week or two sober? It’s the least I can do, really. Besides, I’m still fairly sober after my first or second drink, so it’s not like I won’t be able to have a beer or glass of wine here or there. The only real exception I’d make is if we went to a party or something, but that’s social drinking, which is totally different.” At press time, McCaffrey confirmed his decision to stay sober for “a full 14 days,” while stipulating that he would still be getting completely shitfaced every night.

The Onion

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