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TikTokker Furious As No One Has Ogled Her At Gym All Morning

LAGUNA NIGUEL, CA — A local TikTokker was left angry today after she was unable to achieve her goal of drawing attention from men at the gym, who she could then berate on camera and shame publicly on social media.

“These guys are being such jerks,” said avid fitness enthusiast and aspiring social media influencer Priscilla Balos. “I need them to give me attention that I don’t want so I can then rip them a new one and post the video online about how they’re totally creeping on me with all this attention I don’t want that they’re not giving me like I need them to. Ugh!”

Balos had hoped to generate a surge of buzz online by joining the growing trend of women dressing in skin-tight gym attire and working out while posing suggestively in front of men who are minding their own business only to spring their trap as soon as a man even so much as glances at them. “The fact that these guys refuse to be jerks by ogling me just makes them jerks for not ogling me,” Balos complained loudly, attempting to be heard by men working out around her who were clearly wearing earbuds and wanting to just finish their exercise. “Don’t you get it?! I’m hot! Look at me so I can get mad at you for looking at me!”

At publishing time, Balos had resorted to stretching and bending over directly in front of the gym’s front doors, forcing herself into people’s view as they entered the facility. Gym staff was forced to call the police and have Balos forcibly removed from the property.


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Babylon Bee

Jesus Christ is King

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