Kamala Harris Asks Communications Assistant If She Can Take Them Out For Coffee And Pick Their Brain Sometime

WASHINGTON—In an effort to expand her professional network, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly asked a White House communications assistant Tuesday if she could take them out for coffee and pick their brain sometime. “I’ve always been super interested in communications, so I’d love to hear your perspective on it—for example, I was wondering what is communications, exactly?” said Harris, who noted that she was curious about what the assistant’s day-to-day experience was like and was interested in any other tips they might have for her career. “Is it like social media, or is it more of a cross-hybrid of different communications stuff? I’m sure you’ve had a very cool experience. There aren’t any openings, are there? There’s a Starbucks right around the corner, and I’m buying! Thanks in advance. I understand if you can’t make it, of course. I know you’re busy.” At press time, sources confirmed Harris was awestruck upon learning the assistant had gotten to meet President Joe Biden.

The Onion