OnlyFans is a popular online platform where creators can sell pornographic photos, videos, and other explicit content. If you know someone who is an OnlyFans user, here are things you should never say.
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“Is it weird to pay your electric bill with sin money?”
If they choose to betray our savior to pay bills, that’s their choice.
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“I prefer to make my money in a more dignified manner by selling ballistic missiles for Lockheed Martin.”
Not everyone can be as pure and ethical as a defense-contractor employee.
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“Instead of paying for your pictures, I will trade you some nudes of my own.”
Bartering for nudes is only acceptable at flea markets.
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“Can I have a month free? I’m your husband.”
If anyone should be paying full price, it’s you.
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“I never would have guessed you’d make someone horny.”
Come on now, there’s someone out there for everyone.
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“Sex work is work, and it is time our society accepted that what someone does with their own body is their business.”
Sorry, you still have to pay for your subscription.
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“God shall one day cast your soul into the fiery pits of hell for preying on the wanton desires of weak-willed men.”
Women like OnlyFans, too, you know.
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“Why don’t you get a real job?”
While it may not be as important as, say, analyzing consumer moods about fabric softener among U.S. males ages 39 to 50, making engaging adult content actually does take work.
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“So have you itemized your deductions for your Schedule C for this year?”
You’re seriously questioning their taxes? That’s probably the easiest part of doing sex work.
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“I don’t think I can masturbate to a woman with autonomy over her body.”
Please don’t let them know you’re going to have trouble finishing now that you know she has freedom over her body.
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“What does your boyfriend think?”
No one has ever cared what anyone’s boyfriend thinks.
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“Oh, I loved Only Murders In The Building!”
Despite the name, OnlyFans is not a fan club devoted to Only Murders In The Building.
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“Do you take more after your mom or your dad, and do they have an OnlyFans?”
Stop trying to fuck everyone’s parents.
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“Slut!”
They are used to much more creative harassment.
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“There goes that whole revenge porn plan I had for you.”
It’s a bummer, but luckily, there’s plenty of other sensitive material that you can leak about them.
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“Have you ever thought of just filming yourself putting on clothes?”
Oh, so you think you’re an OnlyFans expert now? Why don’t you try it?
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“I just came looking at your regular photos.”
Gross, pervert.
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