Jesus' Coming Back

Tom Brady Retires Again

Seven-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady has announced his second retirement from the NFL a year after announcing it the first time and after a regular season in which his Buccaneers finished with an 8-9 record. What do you think?

“Years from now he’ll be remembered as one of Gisele’s top five relationships, hands down.”

Blake Samuel, Unemployed

“I wish him luck with whatever fails to satisfy him next.”

Georgia Szpack, Survey Distributor

“That’s not enough, you have to cut off his head to make sure he stays retired.”

Mitchell Sirk, Pill Collector

The Onion

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