Marie Kondo Launches New Parenting Show ‘Aiden For The Love Of All That Is Holy Stop Hitting Your Sister With That Frying Pan’

U.S. — The Japanese “Queen of Tidy” Marie Kondo has announced a brand new Netflix series following the birth of her third child. Whereas her previous show, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, focused on a minimalist lifestyle by ridding the home of things that no longer “spark joy,” her new show will focus on her new life with children and is entitled Aiden For The Love Of All That Is Holy Stop Hitting Your Sister With That Frying Pan.

“In this new show, I will switch my focus from cleanliness to inner peace. AIDEN! FOR PETE’S SAKE STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER!” said Kondo in an interview from her home. “Life with kids has been so enriching, and we can’t allow the occasional misplaced toy or shoe to- AIDEN FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! IF YOU DON’T STOP IT RIGHT NOW I’LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!”

Kondo’s latest release will follow her and her husband as they complete increasingly difficult challenges such as mealtime, bedtime, and bathtime. Viewers will be treated to a delightful glimpse into the serene family life of the Kondos.

“Kids have really helped me find a new rhythm in life, and I’m loving- WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR FACE AIDEN? IS THAT POOP? PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S NOT POOP, AIDEN!” continued Kondo. “I think you’ll really enjoy this candid glimpse into our- AIDEN DON’T YOU RUN AWAY! STOP! AIDEN STOP!”

At publishing time, Marie Kondo’s kids were starting to worry they were no longer sparking joy.

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Babylon Bee