Tom Brady Fans React To His Retirement

“I can’t wait to see what CTE leads him to do next.”

“Whatever I said when he did this the first time is how I still feel now, I guess.”

“Now I’ll have plenty of time to…wait…oh God…the deafening silence…”

“Tom? Tom Brady? I haven’t heard that name in years.”

“He should take up a hobby to keep his mind active and engaged in retirement.”

“Who am I supposed to blame for all my problems now?”

“I’m just bracing myself for him being more comfortable openly talking about his political beliefs.”

“He led the NFL in QB retirements, and that speaks for itself.”

“Hopefully he’s fully vested in his 401(k).”

“I’m not getting him another card.”

“I outlasted you, bitch.”

“Never heard of him.”

“As he should. The court decided that I got football in the divorce.”

“He’ll be back when he realizes his family has no shot of even getting a wildcard spot.”

“I’m going to kill myself.”

“I bet he can’t wait to eat a strawberry.”

“It’s wonderful that he’ll have more time to devote to his wife and children. What’s that? Ah. His children, then.”

“We’re always hiring.”