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Kamala Harris Exasperatedly Explains Her Job To Aunt Again

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WASHINGTON—Releasing an involuntary sigh as she repeated what felt like the same conversation they had every month, an exasperated Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly explained her job to her aunt again Friday. “Come on, I’ve told you before—what about this is so confusing to you?” said Harris, who tried not to roll her eyes as she clarified that she was not a president, but just happened to have the word president in her job title. “It’s like a managerial position with some admin stuff. I just, like, formally preside, you know? No, I don’t break Senate ties anymore. I told you that. Sometimes there’s leftover food from diplomatic things, and they send out an email saying we can come to the State Dining Room and take the rest. Yes, I like it just fine.” At press time, Harris was trying to impress her aunt by boasting that she had once met Marty Walsh.

The Onion

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