U.S. Retaliates For Chinese Spy Balloon By Releasing Spy Inflatable Flailing Arm Tube Man

BEIJING — After being humiliated on the national stage for allowing a Chinese spy balloon to pass over the U.S. unhindered, anonymous sources confirmed the Biden Administration is striking back against China with its own secret weapon: a spy inflatable flailing arm tube man.

“They won’t see this coming folks,” Biden reportedly said to his generals. “They’ll be so distracted by the wacky, wild zaniness of this charming tube man that they won’t even notice the sophisticated surveillance equipment we have stashed inside!”

“Just look at that guy waving around unpredictably! So funny!”

Sources say the inflatable arm tube man has infiltrated the highest levels of President Xi’s cabinet, having charmed countless government officials with its silly wiggling and waving. The U.S. intelligence community hopes to glean valuable intel about China’s plan to take over the entire world which they will then do nothing about.

At publishing time, the tube man had been discovered after a catastrophic malfunction due to being made cheaply in China.

This man is under arrest – for MANSPLAINING!

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Babylon Bee