Jesus' Coming Back

Shy Andy Reid Asks Eagles If They Remember Him

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GLENDALE, AZ—Mumbling as he spoke and attempting to brush a strand of hair behind his ear, a shy Andy Reid reportedly asked the Philadelphia Eagles Sunday if they remembered him. “Hi, my name is Andy, do you remember?” said the Kansas City Chiefs head coach, who turned beet red and avoided eye contact with members of the Eagles, seemingly addressing the ground while he talked to his former team. “It’s okay if you don’t. I was around about 10 years ago. I remember you though. I would hang out mostly on the sidelines. Anyway, I can’t stick around. I have to work. I’ll be over there if you want to maybe come say hi later. Well, seeya, I guess.” At press time, the Eagles players were shrugging and wondering who the hell that rando who had approached them was.

The Onion

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