Jesus' Coming Back

New FanDuel ‘Double Play’ Contest Offers Users Chance To Win Back House

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NEW YORK—Touting the new competition as perfect for anyone who wanted to continue placing bets after the NFL season ended, FanDuel unveiled a new “Double Play” contest Monday, offering users a chance to win back their house. “You may have made some risky bets in the NFL playoffs and lost your house—who hasn’t? That’s why we’re letting you go double or nothing on a new bet to win it back before your wife and kids find out,” said FanDuel spokesperson Bryce Aldridge, adding that users who could provide proof of having bet away the deed to their home or title to their car would receive the ability to double down with new bets in basketball, baseball, or hockey. “We want to keep the betting magic going for anyone who frittered away their kid’s college fund making all the wrong prop bets, and if that’s you, you should absolutely be trying to get it back by picking the right combination of basketball players to beat the competition. And for a limited time, we’ll also include a $50 bonus for any user who lost their house and can show us proof that they’ve called a suicide hotline since the Super Bowl ended. Good luck and happy betting!” At press time, FanDuel competitor DraftKings had unveiled a new contest allowing the top daily bettor on an upcoming slate of NBA games to gain their freedom from the DraftKings debtors’ prison.

The Onion

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