Jesus' Coming Back

REPORT: Oh Fuck! Rihanna still up there!

GLENDALE, AZ – Late-breaking reports indicate that despite ’s electrifying Halftime Show being watched by millions, nobody remembered to lower her weird platform thing and the superstar entertainer has been suspended high above the State Farm Arena all night.

“Apparently she was yelling for help all the way through the back half of the game,” explained State Farm Arena custodian Frank Hombert. “But no one could hear her over the sound of the ’ defense collapsing!”

“Quick, someone get a ladder!” added Hombert. “I think that lady is pregnant up there!”

More on this story as it develops.

Beaverton

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