Jesus' Coming Back

Nation Celebrates Valentine’s Day

Across the nation, millions of Americans will be celebrating romance with chocolates, flowers, and other offerings of love. How are you celebrating Valentine’s Day?

“Oh, my partner and I decided to stop giving each other love years ago.”

Amie Gardner, Button Technician

“That’s up to my sex robot, really.”

Deshawn Baki, Logo Critic

“I’ll be selflessly serving food to underprivileged singles.”

Rafael James, Door-To-Door Atheist

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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