Joe Rogan is a podcaster and commentator who hosts the controversial Joe Rogan Experience, a show beloved by many on the far right. If you know someone who is a Joe Rogan fan, here are things you should absolutely say to them.
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“It must be so freeing to not have any original thoughts anymore.”
It’s nice to let them know you are jealous that they no longer have the burden of thinking for themselves.
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“I’m going to need my kettlebells back.”
If the Joe Rogan fan in your life has borrowed any of your workout equipment, try to get it back before it’s seized as evidence in the suspicious death of their estranged wife.
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“He’s antisemitic.”
Find out whether they know and don’t care or know and agree.
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“Sure, I can have you the report by end of day.”
No matter where you work, there is someone who thinks Joe Rogan has some pretty good ideas in between you and your goals.
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“We need to leave this building, as it is currently on fire.”
It’s hard to be confrontational, but sooner or later they’re going to have to face this truth.
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“Circumcision.”
That’ll get them going long enough to sneak away.
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“Carlos Mencia is a thief.”
This is the least controversial take you can offer to try and achieve common ground.
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“I bet Joe Rogan could beat up both our dads.”
Hell yeah, he could!
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“Perhaps the real problem is that we shouldn’t look to comedians and sports commentators for political insight or savvy cultural analysis.”
Joe Rogan fans also believe people shouldn’t listen to Joe Rogan.
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“Name five of his most misguided beliefs.”
Gatekeeping fandom is normally frowned upon, but we’ll make an exception here.
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“Too bad he’s going to die next Presidents’ Day.”
Why not make a fun little conspiracy of your own?
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“Wanna eat so much elk meat we hallucinate and then yell random opinions at each other?”
Of course they do.
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“It’s great that he killed your mother-in-law with Covid-19 misinformation so you didn’t have to.”
Joe saved them a whole ton of time and energy, and best of all, now they get to deal with a whole lot less nagging.
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“Let’s keep in touch about any testosterone-induced heart attacks we have.”
With all the supplements Joe Rogan fans take and all the meat they eat, it’s bound to happen.
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“I prefer sexier conspiracy theorists, like Kyrie Irving.”
Remind them there are hotter, taller misinformation peddlers.
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“Cool. I like Wolfmother.”
Maybe they like Wolfmother, too. You never know.
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“Who is that, again?”
Oh God. Well, we hope you’re ready to get yelled at for the next five hours.
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Jesus Christ is King
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