CHINO HILLS, CA — The ongoing blurring of gender lines reached yet another milestone today, as a local man frantically and effeminately shooed a bee away from his face, resulting in him being granted honorary womanhood.
The man, sitting down to eat his lunch at a construction site, was startled by the flying insect and suddenly burst into an arm-flailing and hand-flapping frenzy to make the bee go away. “He’s usually a pretty tough guy,” one witness said. “That display today, though…that showed us a whole new side to him.”
After the incident, the man was treated to a host of new name suggestions from those around him, who quickly offered to change the man’s name to Sally, Nancy, or Mary. Though this was initially taken as good fun, the man later learned that he would be recognized at a banquet and given honorary woman status.
“We live in an age of progress,” said Belinda Renfrow, chairperson of Women for the Advancement of Women & Those Who Identify as Women. “We believe so strongly in gender fluidity that we wanted to take this step in good faith to bestow the rank of Woman on this gentleman who clearly stepped out of his masculinity, even if it was only temporarily.”
At publishing time, the man was reported to be surprised yet strangely proud to be given the honor, though he was disappointed that being granted honorary womanhood did not actually give him the ability to understand the thoughts and motivations of actual women.
This man is under arrest – for MANSPLAINING!
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Babylon Bee
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