Conservationists Tout Successful Restoration Efforts After Dolphins Spotted On Mars For First Time Since 1973

MARS—Heralding it as the culmination of years of hard work, conservationists touted their successful restoration efforts Friday after a pair of dolphins were spotted on Mars for the first time since 1973. “It’s incredibly heartening to see the long-endangered Baiji dolphin back on the Martian surface for the first time in 50 years,” said conservationist Henry Lang, thanking all the volunteers who put in long hours at clean-up days on Mars to ensure the aquatic mammals could once again enjoy the Red Planet’s craters and canals. “Many of us feared that Mars had grown so polluted in the ’70s and early ’80s that these magnificent animals would never again be seen swimming on the planet. But to watch them frollicking around Mars, whistling in joy and flipping together through the air, is clear proof that the effort of the few can change the course of history.” Lang added that recent photographs of the animals mating suggested that dolphins may also soon make it to the Martian moons of Phobos and Deimos.

The Onion