‘10 Palestinians Dead After Israeli Raid,’ Reads Headline That Could Have Run Any Week For Past 75 Years

NABLUS, WEST BANK—In a journalistic dispatch produced moments after the military operation, the headline ‘10 Palestinians Dead After Israeli Raid’ was published Wednesday as part of a news story that reportedly could have run any week for the past 75 years. “At least 10 Palestinians were confirmed killed, with dozens more severely wounded,” continued the article that sources confirmed could theoretically have been released at any juncture since the mid-20t century, and, indeed, decades before then. “Found among the rubble were children and elderly residents, several of whom are now in critical condition. Scores of others were injured in the raid.” At press time, world leaders were calling the loss of life “concerning” in statements that will almost certainly continue to be released for decades into the future.

The Onion