Jesus' Coming Back

Things No One Tells You About Being A Sperm Donor

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Maybe it’s because of that intoxicating contrast of the sterile test tube with the incredible fertility of your seed, the naughty nature of knowing that other people know you’re masturbating, or simply the phallic imagery of the test tube, but cumming into a test tube is actually kind of hot—hotter than anything else, in fact. Oh god, oh god, we’re imagining it now, that glass tube aching to be filled, pushed up against the scorching hot tip of our—oh. Oh god. It’s over. Okay, back to the slideshow.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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