Biden Announces Nation Can Stay Up Till 9:30 Tonight
![Image for article titled Biden Announces Nation Can Stay Up Till 9:30 Tonight](https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_80,pg_1,q_80,w_80/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 80w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_140/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 140w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_265/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 265w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_340/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 340w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_490/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 490w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_645/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 645w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_740/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 740w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_965/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 965w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_1165/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 1165w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_1315/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 1315w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_1465/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 1465w, https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/c_fit,f_auto,g_center,pg_1,q_60,w_1600/8c55f4729fbce72f0b4f9ed095bfcf07.jpg 1600w)
WASHINGTON—Sighing as he gave in to the demands of all 330 million Americans, President Joe Biden announced Monday that the nation could stay up until 9:30 p.m. just this once. “But then it’s straight off to bed, no complaining,” said the commander in chief, informing the U.S. populace that, should they choose to stay up past their normal bedtime of 8:45, it would mean forgoing a bedtime story and going directly to lights out. “You can watch one episode of Gilmore Girls and eat one Oreo each, okay? But don’t get used to this. And you have to promise me that no one’s going to wake up in the middle of the night and ask to come sleep with me again. If you’re a nation that’s grown up enough to stay up late, you can certainly sleep in your own beds.” At press time, Biden was heard screaming at the nation that it’s 10:15, that he doesn’t care what time Canada goes to bed, and that as long as they’re living in this country, he gets to make the rules.
- Off
- English
Comments are closed.