Dalai Lama Worried There’s Nothing More To Life Than Feeling Deep Connection With All Existence

MCLEOD GANJ, INDIA—Letting out a sigh as he buried his head in his hands, the Dalai Lama reportedly was worried Monday that there was nothing more to life than feeling a deep connection with all existence. “Wait, so all there is to life is experiencing the full profundity of the interconnectedness of all things to each other, and that’s it?” said His Holiness, who grew increasingly panicked after realizing his entire time on this Earth would just be spent embodying the ultimate truth that there is no self and that all things are unified in their infinite potentiality. “So I’m just supposed to keep living day to day knowing that I contain all of the universe and the universe contains all of me? Fuck. And I have infinite lifetimes of this transcendence? Ugh, you’ve gotta be kidding me.” At press time, the Dalai Lama reportedly attempted to distract himself by buying a PS5.

The Onion