Jesus' Coming Back

TikTok faces investigation from Canadian privacy WOW look at that fun dance HEY a cool dog

OTTAWA – ’s federal watchdog, along with three provincial counterparts, has launched a joint investigation into the controversial social media WHOA check out that hashtag challenge I gotta try that LOOK LOOK a new dance hashtag!

The federal privacy commissioner announced their office will jointly investigate the Chinese-owned app HAHA oh man, that girl’s day in the life video is so packed full of stuff! In conjunction with privacy agencies in Quebec, British Columbia and Alberta they plan to NEAT GLOW UP TRANSITION how did they do that?

“Our investigation will concern ’s collection, use, and disclosure of personal information OH BOY they got grandma to do the dance in this video OOH I gotta try this makeup tutorial HEY ANOTHER COOL DOG,” explained Richard McMullan, of the Privacy Commissioner of Canada.

“Wait, what were we talking about?” McMullan added, before setting up his newly-purchased ring light to replicate a recent TikTok dance challenge.

TikTok is alleged to break transparency obligations particularly around young users HEEHEE this guy is filming a video in his car after McDonalds got his drive through order wrong NIFTY this video is in Spanish I think HEY LOOK this video is about Babar remember that old cartoon?

Meanwhile, TikTok’s parent company, ByteDance, is accused of divulging user information to the Chinese Government LOOK a new BTS fancam LOOK another new BTS fancam LOOK it’s another BTS fancam!

“We are committed to operating with transparency for the many Canadians who use our attention-pulverizing platform,” added a spokesperson for ByteDance. “Also, no, I never use TikTok, why do you ask?”

At press time you’ve been staring at your phone for the past 4 hours.

Beaverton

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