Russian YouTuber With Pet Panther Struggling To Find Way To Stand Out On Site

TYUMEN, RUSSIA—Frustrated by the lack of interest in his content, Russian panther owner Grigory Polyansky told reporters Wednesday that he was struggling to find a way to make his YouTube channel stand out on the site. “I did a video where it meets a dog, I did a video where it meets a house cat, I did a video where it meets a 2-year-old human child, but what chance do I stand of ever breaking through when every Russian on this site is doing the same Goddamn thing?” said Polyansky, who lamented that none of the videos he had uploaded the platform had managed to crack 100 views in a market that was apparently oversaturated with similar creators. “I typed ‘pet panther goes to grocery store’ into the YouTube search bar and I didn’t even show up until the 10th page. I’ve tried everything, and nothing works. I even gave it ketamine. It just feels so hopeless. I’m not even the only guy in my apartment complex with a pet panther.” At press time, Polyansky was finally feeling encouraged after receiving nearly 1,000 views on a video in which he was mauled by the panther.

The Onion