SCOTTSDALE, AZ — After an unexpected layoff led to weeks of scanning job boards and submitting applications, local man Aaron Consola regained hope when he passed a screening and aptitude test and scheduled an interview with the Department of Motor Vehicles. Unfortunately, the interview ended soon after he described himself as a “motivated go-getter.”
“I would be a perfect fit in any of the Maricopa County field offices; I’m self-driven, always growing, and a motivated go-getter!” Sources indicate that DMV hiring manager S. Lowe considered the interview to be “over” upon hearing this admission, pivoting the conversation to the large pool of qualified applicants and the stringent requirements for DMV employees.
“I’m sorry, but you’re not really the type we’re looking for here at the DMV.”
Reports confirm that Mr. Consola felt “crushed” by the rejection and abrupt end of the interview, having sensed the room’s atmosphere shift when he described himself as “driven” and then feeling a harder pivot when he launched into a testimonial of how he had earned a reputation for “going the extra mile” in a prior customer service job.
“I don’t know what went wrong. I started sharing about my outside-the-box idea for replacing the take-a-number system with something more boutique and relational…maybe the hiring manager was worried I wasn’t being innovative enough?” Consola told friends he may consider spicing up his resume with more aggressive language like “collaborative,” “dynamic,” and “self-starter.”
At publishing time, Consola was seen dropping off his resume at the Post Office, confident that the addition of “high-energy” and “risk-taker” to his resume would secure him a job.
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Babylon Bee
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