Jesus' Coming Back

Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Explain Why The Oscars Are Still Relevant

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“Listen—no time to explain, but in 2027, someone known as ‘Mr. Beast’ is nominated for Best Director for a film called Coincidentally Spearman. He must not win! If this happens, a timeline is created wherein billions will perish. I have to go—I’ve used all of my time credits on this final jump, and if I stay around any longer, the multiverse will implode.”

The Onion

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