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Bill Gates Calls Epstein’s Number Just To Hear His Voicemail Again

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MEDINA, WA—With tears welling in his eyes as he sought out his most treasured reminder of his late friend, business magnate Bill Gates reportedly called Jeffrey Epstein’s number Monday just to hear his voicemail greeting again. “Of course I know he’s gone and he’s not going to pick up, but to hear him say, ‘Hey, it’s Jeff, I’m currently indisposed’ just one more time—it means so much to me,” said Gates, adding that he probably calls the number of the convicted child abuser, who died by an alleged suicide in 2019, once or twice a month. “I also saved a few voicemails he left me asking whether I wanted to—well, those deep conversations we shared are private, and I’m really grateful to know that I can still hear Jeff’s voice whenever I want. But there’s just something about his outgoing voice message, how carefree and full of life it sounds, that leads me to call him again whenever I’m missing him most. He was a great man.” Gates added that he was considering getting a more permanent tribute to his deceased friend by having Epstein’s signature from the NDAs he made Gates sign tattooed on his wrist.

The Onion

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