Study Finds Early Humans Domesticated Wolves After Failed Attempts At Domesticating Crocodiles

ALBUQUERQUE, NM—According to a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of Anthropological Research, early humans domesticated wolves after numerous failed attempts at domesticating crocodiles. “Discouraged by a lack of progress and their loss of limbs, early man stopped sharing their scraps of meat with crocodiles and decided to try their luck with wolves instead,” said study co-author Elijah Seba, who confirmed that prior to the domestication of dogs from wolves that begin approximately 30,000 years ago, humans spent 1,000 or so years attempting to coax crocodiles into assisting them with hunting and guarding. “Humans offered crocodiles a place by the fire to warm themselves and even a spot in their bed, but these friendly overtures were met only by the reptiles snatching them by the legs, dragging them into the water, and spinning them into a death roll. It is a pity man was not more persistent. Why we failed to earn the crocodile’s loyalty, we’ll never know.” At press time, Seba added that modern-day house cats were descendants of this original population of crocodiles.